your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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