I think I am morally bankrupt
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Randomize
