Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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