The beer is more important than you right now.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
