he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
