you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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