my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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