Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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