He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I need mimosas to revive my soul
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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