Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
