Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
