OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
