I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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