You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
