How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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