He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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