Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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