There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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