Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
