If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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