if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
