My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
