Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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