I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
