People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
My vagina just recognized that song.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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