Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
