What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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