I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize