Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
