i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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