I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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