So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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