i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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