ugly people sure do ruin things
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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