out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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