She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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