I wanna bring you to show and tell
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
