Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
