U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
