Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
