Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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