i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she pinky promised me she was 18
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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