he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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