took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I understand Curling. That high.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
