I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
