oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Your penis caused this!
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
