I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
