she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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