I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
