i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
it's great music for shaving your balls
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
