scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
