Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
