I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
