I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
