i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize