that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
