i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
