That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize