I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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