If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
