babies were throwing up all over the place
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
