I met the friendliest cop last night
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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