She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize