I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
