You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Randomize
