I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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