This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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