The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
