I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
