Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
