My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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