I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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