Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
