i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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