I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
