he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
