So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
