Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
