She's JV to your varsity
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
